Only Shots

You wanna talk about Strong Plays?…. You wanna talk about full-count, bases loaded, bottom of the ninth. You wanna talk about no shot clock, isolation, down by one. Let’s fucking go… It’s time to separate the men from the boys, the winners from the losers, the guys that get laid and the guys that watch Friends.

You’re out with your boys, posting up, eyeing the bebs… Just being alpha. It’s time to order drinks. Immediately assert yourself as the dominate male by buying the first round of drinks. Hit the bartender with, “5 Whiskeys”. Then turn your back ignoring some soft ass rebuttal like, “What type of Whiskey.” The whiskeys arrive. You slam em’ down like you’ve been doing since Middle School. Your buddy then realizes it’s his turn to be alpha and purchase the next round. “What do you guys want?” …. Hit em with, “Just whiskey for me tonight boys.” … Holy shit. You automatically win for the rest of the night. Sure maybe that poser friend who thinks he’s cool (in all seriousness that’s probably me) will try to go shot for shot with you. 20 minutes later he’s sucking down a bud light… Modern day dunce cap. Only shots…. Could Be The Move.

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9 Responses to Only Shots

  1. Dave says:

    Haven’t pulled this move off since middle school.

  2. KeepUp says:

    A southern draw and a tip of the cap when hitting the bartender with, “Whiskey”. CBTM

  3. ChuGot22 says:

    “You only miss the shots you don’t take.”

    • Tony Robbins says:

      That doesn’t make any sense. Isn’t it, “You always miss the shots you don’t take?”

      • ChutGot22 says:

        What if you never miss…. Therefore the one’s you don’t take you technically miss.

      • bobbyd3 says:

        When you take a step back it all boils down to the usage of the word “miss”. Is miss meaning, “Fail to make in the basket.” Or is it referring to the loss or absence of. “I miss the good ole days.”

  4. Hold It! says:

    “Usage of the word ‘miss’…” Oh fuck off Dolan.

  5. Yuppers says:

    Last time I took only shots I threatened to, “Burn Dis Motha Fucka Down.”

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