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Leading Someone to the Wrong Apartment.

Screen Shot 2020-02-09 at 6.11.31 PMBeen pulling off this move for a solid 5 years now and it makes me chuckle every time. Whether you realize it or not there are certain moments in life where you are without a doubt, 100%, the physical leader. Now when I say, “physical leader” I mean you are at the center of all motions that take place between you and your current follower/followers. A perfect example of this is when you’re inviting someone to your apartment for the first time. They usually start by the main entrance or whatever…. They call you, “Hey I’m here.” You go outside, “Hey! What’s up?” Then you start walking to your apartment. Now everything’s new to your friend: New sights, new sounds, they don’t know where they are or where they’re going… That’s why my move is Leading Someone to the Wrong Apartment. I’ll start walking in the complete opposite direction, “Oh my bad it’s over here.” Then turn around. “Kidding over here.” Then maybe go left, then right, add a little juke move, turn around again. Sometimes I’ll go right up to the wrong door and act like I’m about to unlock it. Most will give you a quick polite wtf laugh, others will get mad either way Leading Someone to the Wrong Apartment Could Be The Move.

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Tweeting Random Lyrics.

Been pulling this Move off the last couple weeks. I love it. Feedback has been average to below but hey man… I’m having fun. Feel like it’s a 90/10 Move. 90% won’t get it but the 10% who do… Ohhh baby. They’re gonna love it.

No joke I pulled this move off 10 minutes before writing this post and got the following response. (I swear to god I didn’t pay her to tweet this):

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See! The 10%! AB aka Alex Benson. Big Lana Del Rey fan! She fucking gets it man! My other 201 followers are probably like, “Sick tweet Dolan… NOT!” But who cares. “My. Favorite. Thing. You’ve. Ever. Tweeted. Bob” Like……. Sniff…… Sniff………….. Bout to cry.

The key to this move is hitting them with a low-key obscure/underrated lyric. Let’s use Nirvana as an example, the knee jerk tweet would be, “With the lights out. It’s less dangerous.” Fantastic lyric. Great song BUT too popular for this move. A better fit would be, “The sun is gone but I have a light.” …. Perfect! The lyric is obscure/underrated and fucking beautiful. Peep some others I’ve rocked:

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If you know all three you’re a real one. Tweeting Random Lyrics. Could Be The Move.

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Sketch – Bloody Marys.

Screen Shot 2020-01-28 at 7.03.43 AMBloody Marys. I dig em’. Nothing like sippin’ on a nice spicy Bloody Mary at 7:45am as I’m rippin’ a high tight draw down #1 at my local muni. (Translation: I enjoy drinking Bloody Marys at 7:45am on the golf course while I’m hitting good golf shots).

On the real though… Some Bloody Marys need to relax. Restaurants/bars are out here priding themselves on the random/goofy shit they put in their Bloody Mary. “Best Bloody Mary in California!” Why? Because it’s got a lobster claw and cheeseburger hanging out the side?… Chill. “That’ll be $94 sir.”

What kills me is the stupid face the person has on when they receive the Bloody Mary. It’s part pride, part confusion, part excitement. “Look at me! I got the cool drink! Should I eat the bacon now or wait?” Relax dude… You didn’t get the fajitas. Nobody is impressed.  Last thing I’ll say, you ever take all the stuff out and realize they only gave you like 3oz. of Bloody Mary. Smh. Don’t be fooled man. The purpose of the Bloody Mary is to buzz you up. Not fill you up! …. Solid line, Dolan. Solid line.

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Singing The Background Vocals.

Screen Shot 2020-01-23 at 7.51.14 AMSinging The Background Vocals. Move by: Jackie. Damn…. Thought I was the only one tbh. The reason why I personally like doing this is because a lot of times I feel like the bassist/harmonizer/backup singer doesn’t get the credit they deserve. Guy or girl’s out there on the side layering the song with subtle textures yet everyone is fixated on the lead.

Here’s a sure fire way to get a laugh. When a song is playing that you know kills it in the background vocals department hit your buddy with a, “Check me out.” Then absolutely CRUSH the background vocal. My go to is Green Day Longview. I hit em’ with a little, “By Myyyyself.” Taking Back Sunday is also unstoppable in the background vocals department. If you have any other tunes/bands with bomb background vocals let me know. Singing The Background Vocals. Could Be The Move.

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Towels.

Screen Shot 2020-01-10 at 8.01.12 AMFeel like a lot of ya’ll sleep on towels. I mean… They’re a basic household necessity, you use one every day and yet if I were to say, “Your house is on fire, you can save 5 things…” None of ya’ll would save the towel… Damn. The beauty of towels is their versatility. Some can be flashy and used for decoration, some can be gritty and used on the golf course or gym, some can be used as a blanket like at the beach or at a bachelor party when all the beds are taken and you wake up in the middle of the night freezing your ass off.. Towels, life’s most necessary unnecessity. Towels. Could Be The Move.

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“Drinkin’ a Bud.” When You’re Clearly Not Drinking a Budweiser.

This move is pretty simple. You’re drinking a beverage. Someone initiates a conversation with you, “Hey Bobby! How’s it going man?” You hit em’ with, “Yo dude! Oh you know, just hangin’, drinkin’ a Bud.” But… Here’s the kicker, you’re not drinking a Budweiser or Bud Light…. When they respond with something lame like, “That’s a margarita man.” Or “That’s an iced coffee man.” You immediately change the subject, “So how about those Vikings man!?!? Kirky! Big win!” “Drinkin’ a Bud.” When You’re Clearly Not Drinking a Bud. Could Be The Move.

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Food Review. Eat Club. Frisky Chicken Caesar.

Today I dined on the Frisky Chicken Caesar salad. Once again Eat Club knocks it out of the park with creating a spot on name that perfectly encapsulates the dish. This Caesar salad was most definitely “frisky”. I’d argue the salad is in a lot of ways rebellious. The “Frisky Chicken Caesar Salad” throws away the idea of what a traditional Caesar salad has longly been defined as and brings a new flare to the table. Baby kale, romaine arugula, roasted tomatoes… Frisky! “Caesar Salad” – Eat Club Remix. Fantastic dish. Enjoyed every last bite. Meal: 4.5 Experience: 4.5 (-.1 A5 location. +.1 Solid salad shake).

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