Listen man, I got respect for butter, always have. Can take a simple piece of toast and carry it to another level. Takes skill, grit, heart even. With that being said I’m not sure if butter deserves a solo VIP box seat on a daily basis, not sure if any of the items in my fridge do. As far as I’m concerned they’re a team, everyone’s got their role. We got the eggs showing off their versatility like a solid two way 2nd line center. We got the fruit, a specialist who can hit the outside shot and open up the floor. We got the salsa hanging in the back of the fridge for god knows how long waiting for it’s moment to shine like some stud Michael Turner-esque backup running back. Like I said, a team. Which is why I’ve been known to rotate items in the VIP seats. Throw a chicken thigh in there, a bell pepper, hell been known to move the baking soda in there from time to time. Everyone gets their turn. Today it happened to be two tasty @samadams Oktoberfests. I don’t know man, haven’t fully decided but I’m starting to think rotating fridge items in the VIP seats Could Be The Move.

I’ll have flashbacks to this moment. Blew my mind. I’ve never seen ranch dressing carried around in such a large vessel. The image has forever been burned into my brain.

Let’s revisit this moment together. Just got done with a little softball game, boys headed to the local pizza joint (shoutout Oggis in Encinitas). We placed our order: bunch of pizza, wings, some Oggi sticks WUD UP! The boys recapped the game, discussed whether RG3 was the answer, the good ole days! I skedaddled off to the bathroom, spotted the food at the table, next thing you know (to my right) I see our waitress bringing out a pitcher of a thick white liquid. “I’ve never seen that kind of beer before.” my stupid ass brain thought. After another observational beat I realized this wasn’t some off the menu IPA but a pitcher of ranch dressing. Now I always knew the boys liked their ranch, they’d always ask for extra and our servers were always quick to serve (again shoutout Oggi’s). Tonight was different, homegirl decided to do one ranch stop, just a big ole fat pitcher of ranch. Sure, it got the job done but I’ll tell you one thing… It scared the living shit out of me. Anxieties, deep trauma and unexpected future flashbacks aside it turned into a win/win. Squad got their ranch, our server didn’t have to burn time and waste steps snagging a couple extra cups. W.

First and last time I saw this Move. Maybe the health craze shied people away from an overabundance of ranch. Maybe the image of a pitcher filled with ranch dressing rattled a couple regulars, “Don’t want to see that again. I’ll find another bar ya hear.” Or Maybe we were a one of a kind table that liked ranch a little too much. Either way I fucking respected this Move and hope to see it in play again. Pitcher of Ranch. Could Be The Move.

• Double Glasses.
• Have Security Kick You Out.
• Tailgating Costco.
• Boo the Commish.
• Sneaking Booze on a Cruise.
• Step Ladder at a Festival.
• Lauren Moves.

• “And Make It Hot.” 
• Joint Linkedin.
• Bag of Ice at McDonald’s.
• Pull a Heisenberg.

Move via: @ethanmkelley Always dug a hotel lobby bar. It serves a pivotal role in all aspects of travel: Starting line, finish line, home base. You got all sorts of vibes flowing through that place. There’s the squad whackin’ a couple beers before jumping on the wedding shuttle. There’s the dude lost in his thoughts replaying his 3:00 sales meeting. There’s the family on vacation enjoying a casual happy hour before they start checking off Dad’s to do list. Different people, different stories, why not join em’. Random Tuesday night, take advantage of the drink specials, learn more about Seneca Valley Class of 2002, the best places to outsource customer service, why Dave wants their kid to go to Wisconsin, getting jazzed up just thinking about it. Who knows, maybe later in the night you end up rolling to your local bar with Dave, the business guy and some 2002 Seneca Valley graduates. High on it. Think it Could Be The Move.

Move via: @jacktheisen1 Might get back in the game… The rush I got TPing the Otley’s yard when I was a youngin’ was unmatched: Felt alive, felt like I could take on the world, felt like nothing could stop me. Even after experiencing such a euphoric rush I didn’t touch the TP for years. (Had to save the arm for ball ya know.) I quit the game and the game quit me. That was until I got word my buddy’s house got TP’d by a bunch of underclassmen. I knew a counter strike would occur and practiced my, “Gotta sit this one out” speech. (Couldn’t risk the shoulder tweak. “Ball was gonna get me out of this town.” I’d say.) The time had come, I was approached by my friend at the end of 5th period anatomy. Said he had good men on standby, said he could use one more. Preferably someone with a strong enough arm to carry the tall Sugar Maple that grew beside our target’s home. In that moment I knew ball would have to take a back seat to pride, camaraderie, revenge.

That night we rained TP all over Tim Hughes’ yard. We were quick, silent, surgical. Afterwards we drank soda pops and smoked cigarettes on our local ball field. Johnny No Thumbs played us songs and we sang along…. we sang along.

Miss those times. But hell, with this Move I can live em’ again.

• Rock a Chain That Plays Your Highlights.
• Put the Higher Number First When Listing a Range.
• Around 2:30 Walk Through the Office Holding Four Fingers Up.
• Anytime You See a Piano Gently Caress the Keys and Slowly Close Your Eyes.

Move via: @clay.rl Why not man. Nice day, just got done with a little jet ski sesh. Or heck maybe you’re about to hop on one. Cold beverage, sun on your arms, feel the vest start heating up. Vacation mode.

When I really think about it, not sure if I’ve ever had a bad time wearing a life vest. When I got one of those puppies on I’m usually doing some tubin’, on a jetski, pushing out a rent-a-kayak. For me, life vests = fun. Should start tricking my brain. Having a tough day at work, bam, life vest. DoorDash driver forgot my Chick-fil-A Sauce, bam, life vest. Bro I’m about to toss one on during a big Orioles game, just in case ya know. High on this Move, might incorporate.

• Bring Your Own Air Fryer To Work To Make Lunch.
• Portable Chargers. 
• Always Being the Guy Adding Water to the Sauna. 
• Befriend Your Local Chinese Takeout Place and Get Your Own Special Combo Meal Named After You. 
• Pulling a Piece of Paper Towel Out of a Dispenser and Only Getting a Tiny Bit. Chop.