The Olives Have Pits In Them

Thought of this bad boy during a work lunch. Yeah. A work lunch. Nice little perk. Ole Bobby D. isn’t complaining. Plus a solid quick side move is to scrap some leftovers and  double up with a little dinner. When you’re somewhat young and single you never pass up on an opportunity for free food. Alright, so we had ourselves a nice little Italian lunch: (Boom. A fuckin’ colon. You like that shit?) Pasta, salad and a beautiful antipasto spread. This bad boy was loaded with, olives, banana peppers, fucking other Italian things. It was beautiful. Long story short, the big ole black olives had pits in them. Now we’ve all been there. You either pick up the olive, like a monster, and bite down right through your tooth or you try to stab it with a fork and have that split second thought, “My fork is broken.” Obviously the tooth situation is much worse but I DIGRESS. I’m thinking the move is to help save the day for that fucking animal who’s tossin’ olives back like a handful of bar nuts!  The play is simple, first, pluck an olive from the beautiful antipasto spread and go from table to table warning your fellow co-workers about the pit situation but you have to do it in a fun loving/anxious/grnndma way. Like you have to walk over to the table, not say a word and wait until the attention is on you. Then says something dope like, “Pardon me. I just want to warn you guys that the olives have pits in them. Once again the olives have pits in them. Thank you.” Now when you walk away people will either think you’re hilarious or a weirdo. That all depends on how solid the sense of humor is in the room. Telling people, “The Olives Have Pits In Them.” Could Be The Move.

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Pay Bobby Dolan Pt. 3

The Pay Bobby Dolan situation has taken an interesting turn. My friend Myke decided to fine the “Other” Bobby Dolan for being Bobby Dolan.

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I also received a Venmo from my buddy Jimmy. Guy’s got class.

Screen Shot 2017-06-24 at 12.21.52 PM.pngIt seems like the Bobby Dolan Venmo voyage is coming to an end. If any updates occur I’ll be sure to post them. Thank you. Please advise. God Bless…. Also how about the blackout of Jimmy’s last night. Protecting the identity of your friends on a blog less than 5 people read. Could Be The Move.

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Pay Bobby Dolan a Dollar

My buddy Grant hopped on the pay Bobby Dolan bandwagon and tossed him $1. He’s also trying to get #paybobbydolanadollar trending. I don’t know much about this Bobby Dolan but he sounds like a fuckin’ LEDGE!

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Pay Bobby-Dolan-1 a $1. Could Be The Move.

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Venmoing People With Your Name

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Can’t take credit for this one. This move was done by my neighbor.

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Covering Someone’s Eyes and Screaming While They Drive.

This move was performed on me at the age of 17. It’s very simple. If you’re in the backseat go ahead and sit behind the driver. When he starts to drive, cover his eyes and scream. Now I’m not talking about a long eye cover. I’m talking about a quick one second eye cover situation. It’ll get a laugh from the person riding shotgun just about every time. The drivers reaction is more of a question mark. They usually get startled and react with a, “What are you doing?”  Then as the adrenaline settles they usually let out a little laugh. Or even a charming, “You got me smirk.” Covering Someone’s Eyes and Screaming While They Drive.

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Clicking Cute Shit on Amazon So Your Facebook Ads are Full of Cute Shit.

Big Brother man. They’re out there. They’re hanging on your every move. Oh look, a bicycle, let me click on that real quick. BAM! Bicycles all over the god damn place. Your Facebook Page, ESPN.com, YouTube, fucking everywhere man! Targeted Marking, it’s something you’ll never be able escape. What you can do though is out smart it. Since Zuckerburg and the Boys have the ability to track every click, my resolution is simple, start clicking some cool shit. You like bulldogs? Go to Amazon and type in bulldog calendars. Click every bulldog calendar in sight. The next day head on over to Facebook and check out all the cute bulldogs frolicking your page. Clicking Cute Shit on Amazon So Your Facebook Ads are Full of Cute Shit. Could Be The Move.

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Adding “Penis” to Songs

For all you hardcore Could Be The Move fans out there (maybe one or two). You might remember a move, “Adding Your Own Flare to Songs.” I was going to link it to this move since it’s pretty much the same thing but I have no idea where it is. I guess I deleted it or some shit. Anyways, this move is slightly more specific so here it goes. Just add “Penis” to any music lyric. Simple, fundamental, to the point. Now I didn’t invent this move, my buddy did, but I thought it was gold. He sent me a Snap of him singing Cake, “I want a girl with a shirt skirt and a loooooooooong PENIS.” Hilarious! I had to respond. So I threw a little Depeche Mode at him, “Reach out and touch MY PENIS!” Adding “Penis” to songs. Could Be The Move.

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