My buddy Jeff Blake is a flat out horrible human being. It’s laughable how much he sucks at life. He organizes shitty spring break trips where hotels catch on fire. He pre-games with Cherry Burnett’s and Sprite. He dances like a retarded praying mantis. He’s all about the show Prison Break. He fucking loves Bud Light Platinums. He’s a Dallas Cowboys fan.  He still wears carpenter jeans. He’s the GM of some shitty golf course. His first e-mail address was JBpimpin69. He constantly says things like, “I’m the GM of Poolesville Golf Course.” He worked at a liquor store for a week. I’ve never heard him fart. He wears orange on Thanksgiving, red on Christmas, light blue on Easter and green during Masters week; what a generic bitch.

If I’m forgetting something please feel free to comment below.

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