Accusing Someone Of Fake Stealing

Stealing is fun. I’ve stolen a handful of things in my day and the sudden rush that coerces your body is unimaginable. You can’t buy a rush like that. Well you probably could but re-hab or death is the only way out of that cycle. My days of stealing gum and fruit snacks from the lunch line are well behind me and my dream of holding up a bank with my three best friends is exactly that, a dream. Just because I can’t steal anymore doesn’t mean I can’t call people out for stealing, even if they aren’t stealing. The move is simple. Next time you are with your buddy at any sort of checkout line and you are about to pay, pause for a moment and stare him down. Follow the stare down with, “Where’s the gum?” He’ll respond with, “What gum?” Hit him back with, “Dude I’ll pay for the gum.” He’ll still have no idea what you are talking about, “What gum?” That’s when you go on a tangent. “I’m sorry (Insert Cashier’s Name Here) my friend must think it’s cool to steal, You think stealing is COOL!?!?! Just give me the gum and I’ll pay for it.” Watch your friend and cashier squirm with awkwardness as you go on your tangent. It’s a foolproof way to see what your friend is actually made of and a great way to see how he responds in high pressure situations. If you want to play Varsity, try slipping something in his pocket that a way he’ll get caught red-handed. Accusing someone of fake stealing, COULD BE THE MOVE!

– Bobby D. / Move by Brandon (Washington D.C.)

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One Response to Accusing Someone Of Fake Stealing

  1. meme says:

    OMG!! WHO NEEDS FRIENDS!!!NOT COOL!

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