Forcing Someone To Be The Designated Driver

Please allow me to be candid and say that I really like you guys. In fact, I like you so much that I’m going to give you two moves in one post. I know, I’m psyched about it too. The first move is a Bobby D signature. He likes to go over to a house party or a friends house, crack open a beer and then hit the person he showed up with, “Hey, you’re driving tonight”. He doesn’t even let you have a say in it. Honestly it’s a good move…if you want to be a dick. It’s very straight forward and simple. For the most part the friend will accept it and take it easy on the booze. Maybe he’ll give you shit for being an asshole, but either way Bobby has no worry about driving…until now. I have a counter to that move, which may be a move inside a move if you will. Let’s say Bobby and I show up to our buddies house together. Bobby cracks a fresh beer and sits on the couch. “JB, you’re driving tonight, cool? Awesome”. No, Bobby, this is indeed not awesome. I immediately get up from the couch and find the nearest bottle of hard alcohol. “Hey Bobby check this out”! I hammer about five shots in a row and then grab a beer. In about 15 minutes I’m going to be more cocked than Bobby will ever be. I look him right in the eyes, toss him my keys and say something bad-ass like “Your move, chief” or “Now who’s Driving Miss Daisy, bitch”. Yeah, that’s the one right there. I promise Bobby will be so shocked as well as impressed that he will definitely slow down on the sauce, thus resulting in an excellent defense to his already classic move. It looks like getting more drunk than your friend and not giving him the option of you as a designated driver COULD BE THE MOVE!

– JB

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