Bringing An Excess Of Alcohol To Social Functions

As a society I feel as if we constantly make up excuses to drink. “Hey it’s my son’s 1st birthday” “Dude! Vice Presidential Debate.” “It’s December 12th 2012, 12/12/12… Party!” “It’s Wednesday, the 5th day of spring, let’s house!” Next time you are invited to a social gathering that looks, smells and feels like an excuse to drink bring an extreme abundance of alcohol. For instance, you get invited to a “Pumpkin Carving Party”. This kind of party screams, “Excuse to drink”. The normal human being brings a six pack of light beer. The guy who thinks out of the box brings a sixer of Pumpkin Ale’s. The tool-bag brings an 18-24 pack of light beer. That’s where you come in. Your new move is rolling up with two 30 packs. When someone comments on how you clearly brought to much beer immediatley greet their comment with a swift displeasing glare. The key to the move is acting as if there’s nothing wrong with bringing 60 beers to a social function where consuming 2-3 beverages is socially accepted. This move sends a message, a strong one. Bringing an excess of alcohol to social functions; COULD BE THE MOVE!

– Bobby D.

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