Autographing Random Things at Work

to_sharpieYou ever think about how bad-ass Terrell Owens sharpie move was? I mean it’s the move of all moves… confident… arrogant… hilarious… Just straight up legendary. I mean the guy makes a big time play and instead of celebrating with his teammates he pulls out a Sharpie and gives his audience exactly what they want… More of him… So awesome. Now my football playing days are well behind me… The journey ended in 5th grade when numerous head injuries led to chronic seizures. Yeah, you heard me right, people think Troy Aikman made head injuries cool? No, no.. This guy, Bobby Dolan, made head injuries cool. Yeah Troy had his cup of coffee in the NFL… While I was cut down in my prime, stripped of the fame, the glory, the ability to brighten someones day with nothing more than a signature. Hell my signature means nothing, people don’t know who I am, people don’t want any of me… Which is exactly why Autographing Random Things At Work is my new move. First, you gotta TO yourself and strap a Sharpie to your right sock. I can’t stress enough the importance of the Sharpie being located in the right sock… Losers put it in the left sock. Don’t be a loser. Anytime you accomplish anything worth a high five (or a fist bump if you suck) pull out the Sharpie and sign something… A notepad, a paper cup, their desk, their arm, just make sure they are aware that you were here and that you made shit happen. A stronger move is after you sign something random leave the Sharpie and start to walk away. Then turn around, snag the Sharpie and go, “Almost forgot this.” Prop your foot up on their desk, fling up the pant leg and tuck that bad boy right where it started.. Deep in the RIGHT sock. Give it a good stroke/pat and move on with an urgent pace. Why an urgent pace? Because you are looking ahead to your next big play and your next autograph. Autographing Random Things at Work, Could Be The Move!

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