Food Review. Eat Club. Kapow Chicken.

Today I dined on the Kapow Chicken. Lovely dish. Kapow is a perfect word to describe how my taste buds felt as the garlicy chicken, smooth rice and perfectly cooked egg attacked my taste buds. It was beautiful. The dance of flavors blended together in a truly majestic way. The textures, the depth, the pop, I felt like I was eating Led Zeppelin’s 4th album (Led Zeppelin IV). Eat Club…. This may be your masterpiece. Well done. Meal: 4.7 Experience: 4.6 (A4 Placement).

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Food Review. Eat Club. Cool Fried Chicken & Blue Cheese Salad.

Today I dined on the Cool Fried Chicken and Blue Cheese Salad. Now the “Cool” in Cool Fried Chicken is not some fun cheeky description. They mean it literally, the Fried Chicken is cold. Now I usually like my Fried Chicken warm and loaded with a vast array of dangerous peppers. Sure I’ll eat it cold from time to time when a lazy leftover situation forces my hand but yeah… Today it was cold. The Chicken danced atop a basic garden salad (lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, cabbage). On the side was a dash of blue cheese and an absolute TUB of dressing. I’m tellin ya your boy’s taken sponge baths in containers smaller than the one provided. All in all it was filling and got the job done. Meal: 4.0 Experience: 3.9. A5. Placement.

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Food Review. Eat Club. Crab and Spicy Tuna Poke Bowl.

Today I dined on the Crab and Spicy Tuna Poke Bowl. Now… I’m a crab expert. “Crab expert? Wait what?” Sorry… Let me back track. I’m from a lil’ state called Maryland. Maryland does a couple things well. 1. It’s a place where great people develop as human beings (Babe Ruth, Tupac, Kevin Durant and myself). 2. Best crabs in the world. When I spotted a crab dish on the menu your boy got all sorts of jacked. TBH it felt like a countdown till Tuesday. When I opened the dish I was in awe of the presentation. So many gorgeous colors and sauces on deck. I wasted no time dumping the garlic ponzu, spicy mayo, and soy sauce all over the meal. Each sauce added a lovely element to every bite. Overall the dish was sweet, salty and…. Well it just felt like home. *(Pause… Put head down. Try not to cry)* Only mistake I made was not adding Old Bay… Act like I don’t have Old Bay at my desk. Meal: 4.1. Experience: 3.9. A5, plus a fellow co-worker flexed his A1 placement on me pretty hard.

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Food Review. Eat Club. Glorious.

Today I dined on the Glorious. When I first placed the order I thought it was called the Glamorous. My 3rd grade reading level let me down here. I had visions of singing Fergie’s Glamorous throughout my entire meal. Oh well, maybe one day. The Glorious was lovely. I’m not a big vegan guy but this wrap was delightful. The avocado was fresh, the greens were crisp/leafy and the tomatoes had a nice flavorful pop. Never knew coconut bacon was a thing but yeah… pass. Straight up, you throw some chicken and bacon in this bad boy we’re talkin’ about a 4.7. Meal: 4.3. Experience: A2 placement. Assisted a fellow Co-Worker retrieving her meal in the A1 slot. Destroyed my confidence for a good 45 seconds. 4.1.

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Food Review. Eat Club. Clam Chowder Bread Bowl.

Today I dined on the Clam Chowder Bread Bowl. Honestly, I felt bad indulging in a dish that’s so deeply rooted to the New England area. I’ve been intensely rooting against the Bruins the last two weeks of the Stanley Cup. Needless to say, keeping a level head throughout this meal was a challenge. Hard not to see the faces of Marchand, Chara and McAvoy sprinkled throughout my dish. With that being said, the meal was solid. The bread bowl cut was all but perfect, the entire cup of chowder nestled beautifully in the edible bowl. The chowder was creamy, semi-chunky and had a temperature of 97 degrees. Soup Comparison: Campbells. New England Athlete Comparison: Al Horford. Solid. Fundamental. Get’s the job done. Meal: 3.9. Experience: 4.1 (+.2 A1 Placement).

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Food Review. Eat Club. Fra’Mani Chefs Salad.

Today I dined on the Fra’Mani Chefs Salad. I carried on my Eat Club tradition of ordering a dish that I do not know how to pronounce. My salad shake was a little suspect which led to a number of #saladproblems. The chic peas hunkered down at the bottom leaving them the last ingredient left standing. The blue cheese never spread which led to a good ole fashioned blue cheese surprise. You know… the classic, “Oh my god did someone poison me oh wait it’s just a big ole clump of blue cheese” bite. Other than showing a lack of athletic ability my lunch was very enjoyable. The ham and turkey, fresh. The lettuce, cool/crispy. The dressing, jusssstt enough mustard pop. Meal: 4.2 Experience: A7 placement. (Lowest drawer. -.2.) 4.0. Salad Shake: 1.8.

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Food Review. Eat Club. Mexi-Asian Spicy Pork Burrito.

Today I dined on the Mexi-Asian Spicy Pork Burrito. Now… Before my meal, Eat Club surprised me with a number of branded gifts: pens, sunglasses, a traveler bag, a football and a nice branded cup. What a great move. Love these guys. Side Note: I will be reviewing the products separately via my Twitter account. They also decked out my Eat Club box with a medal that says, “Most Epic Reviewer”. Honestly my taste buds went numb. I scarfed down the burrito without any food related thoughts. My only thoughts were, “Can’t wait to wear these shades at Splash House!” “This medal… Wow. Now I know what Michael Phelps feels like!” “These pens are so orange!” (My favorite color. Go Orioles!) I ate the whole thing so my subconscious must’ve enjoyed the dish. Meal: 4.1 Experience: 4.8 (-.2 A3 placement).

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