Pitcher of Ranch

I’ll have flashbacks to this moment. Blew my mind. I’ve never seen ranch dressing carried around in such a large vessel. The image has forever been burned into my brain.

Let’s revisit this moment together. Just got done with a little softball game, boys headed to the local pizza joint (shoutout Oggis in Encinitas). We placed our order: bunch of pizza, wings, some Oggi sticks WUD UP! The boys recapped the game, discussed whether RG3 was the answer, the good ole days! I skedaddled off to the bathroom, spotted the food at the table, next thing you know (to my right) I see our waitress bringing out a pitcher of a thick white liquid. “I’ve never seen that kind of beer before.” my stupid ass brain thought. After another observational beat I realized this wasn’t some off the menu IPA but a pitcher of ranch dressing. Now I always knew the boys liked their ranch, they’d always ask for extra and our servers were always quick to serve (again shoutout Oggi’s). Tonight was different, homegirl decided to do one ranch stop, just a big ole fat pitcher of ranch. Sure, it got the job done but I’ll tell you one thing… It scared the living shit out of me. Anxieties, deep trauma and unexpected future flashbacks aside it turned into a win/win. Squad got their ranch, our server didn’t have to burn time and waste steps snagging a couple extra cups. W.

First and last time I saw this Move. Maybe the health craze shied people away from an overabundance of ranch. Maybe the image of a pitcher filled with ranch dressing rattled a couple regulars, “Don’t want to see that again. I’ll find another bar ya hear.” Or Maybe we were a one of a kind table that liked ranch a little too much. Either way I fucking respected this Move and hope to see it in play again. Pitcher of Ranch. Could Be The Move.

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