ON MY BENCH!!!!!

With football season in full swing you’re going to hear a lot of tools bragging about how amazing their fantasy football team is. I’m clearly one of those tools who takes Fantasy Football way to seriously but I try my hardest not to bore people with my “Who Should I Start Problems.” BUT every now and then I’ll eavesdrop my way into a conversation of someone talking about their #3 wide receiver putting up mad numbers. A funny way to completely destroy an intellectual fantasy football discussion is bump your way into the conversation and hit em’ with, “Yeah I also had T.Y. Hilton… ON MY BENCH!!!!” Now two things are extremely important here, the delivery, and the eye contact. The delivery must sound like you’re extremely psychotic and if you had the chance you would strangle T.Y. Hilton for having such an amazing game on your bench. With the eye contact, I can’t stress it enough, you must keep the same psychotic energy and pick someone out to stare at for a good 6 count. Make it awkward then even more awkward. If the guy has any sort of sense of humor he’s going to love it. If he doesn’t …. Well you look like a psycho. ON MY BENCH!!! Could be the move.

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